Ask John: How Come Harem Anime Never Actually Have a Literal Harem?

Question:
Why is it in so called “Harem” anime, the main character never ends up with an actual harem? I use the term harem in the actual sense in that the male has actual relationships with multiple females, whether it is with their knowledge (a wife and mistress, for example) or without (two timing). In harem anime the main character is no Casanova, successfully charming and wooing multiple women, he is an indecisive wimp who cannot decide whether he likes any girl at all. Almost every main character has his romantic interests insisting that they be the one and only target of affection (To-love ru is the only manga I can see that has girls happy with sharing the male) and almost every male character picks only one girl in the end, or picks none at all. School Days is the exception, the main character attempts multiple relationships and he is murdered for it. We don’t even get relationships one after one another, just one at the end. Why is it that in anime that seems to promise a harem for the male lead, never actually has one?

Answer:
Whenever we attempt attempt an outside analysis of conventions within Japanese anime, we must remember that typically anime is made for Japanese citizens and viewers, and inherits concerns and influences native to Japanese society. So trends and characteristics which seem odd to foreigners may be completely natural and intuitive to Japanese viewers. I’ve never asked an anime writer or director about the reasons for the typical construction of a harem anime, nor have I ever encountered discussion of this particular circumstance. So I can only provide my own perspective, which I hope will be valid but may not be correct.

At least since the Edo period, divorce has not been especially uncommon in Japan, although even at its recorded peak, the frequency of divorce per capita in Japan was less than half of the frequency in America. Monogamy and lengthy marriages aren’t especially emphasized in Japan any more than in America, but marriages in Japan that do last seem to last for a very long time. Japan is largely a society of particularly interconnected individuals. Of course, that characterization may be made of any human society, but it’s particularly relevant to urban Japanese communities in which public and private activity and discourse have fairly rigidly defined unspoken delineations. To accommodate that social tendency, arranged marriages remain prominent in Japan, although the tradition has seen declining use in recent years. In the past three decades – and it’s important to note that the earliest example of harem anime, arguably Urusei Yatsura, appeared in 1982 – a greater sense of romanticism, tentative and practical romanticism, has arisen in Japan. Marriage candidates since the 1980s have become more inclined to find their own spouse rather than rely on a professional matchmaker, and marry for love rather than convenience or practical necessity. However, over the same span, the average length of courtship in Japan has nearly doubled. According to Yoko Tokuhiro’s 2010 book Marriage in Contemporary Japan, 2007 survey results from Japan’s National Institute of Population and Social Security Research reveal that the length of time Japanese couples date before marriage lengthened significantly from 1987 to 2005, from an average of 2.5 years to 3.8 years. A variety of circumstances doubtlessly impacted this progression, but my analysis is on anime, not Japanese sociology.

Anime simplify, exaggerate, and idealize perceived circumstances and impressions present in Japanese society. Harem anime tap into the playful Japanese myth of “moteki,” the idea that some time during their lives people experience three temporary periods of unusual popularity and attractiveness to the opposite sex. Harem anime also appeal to the Romantic nature and instincts of otaku. By “romantic,” I don’t mean a socially and romantically engaging or outgoing personality; I’m referring to the chivalric and idealized belief in meeting, falling in love with, and spending a lifetime with one’s fated true love. So the prospective husband, in effect, window shops to make sure that he’s selected the perfect match to spend his lifetime with. The humor of the romantic comedy Urusei Yatsura, foundationally lies in the fact that Ataru’s perfect match is always right beside him, yet he consciously continues to play the field, refusing to accept and commit to the relationship which he actually knows is his ideal. School Days seems to reinforce this philosophy. Makoto doesn’t just “window shop” or dip his feet into various relationships in search of his ideal singular partner; he takes advantage of his candidates and ends up punished for taking his speculation too far beyond the standard, socially acceptable and responsible limits that the world of anime and anime fan psychology abides. Shows including Sekirei, Kanokon, and To Love-ru that depict women tolerant of sharing their “master” or future husband are an indulgent compromise for the male viewers that these shows target. These shows accommodate male indecisiveness, possibly reflected in real-life Japan by the length of time Japanese men take to commit to marriage, and fulfill the male otaku’s subconscious desire for affirmation of masculine virility.

However, the majority of single male otaku aren’t really looking for a harem. The popularization of the recent concept “Konata is my wife” and the idealization of the Densha Otoko story suggest that otaku ultimately don’t really want a harem; they want to find their one true love who understands and appreciates them and wants to spend a lifetime with them. If the subconscious desire of the average otaku was really to collect women and maintain multiple wives, more anime like School Days would exist. The prevalence of harem anime in which a tentative, indecisive, or unconfident man ponders which of many women should ultimately be his single commitment reflects the ideal subconscious goal of the typical Japanese male otaku. Characteristic of Japan’s sense of romantic pragmatism, which is absolutely normal in Japan yet feels quite foreign to Americans, harem anime protagonists, in effect, test drive potential wives in the same way they might try out a variety of cars before deciding on the one that feels comfortable and perfect. Otaku in real life can’t actually do this, so harem anime offers a pleasing surrogate fulfillment for the action of tentatively selecting a future wife.