Ask John: Why are Anime Character Romances Always So Frustrating?

Question:
Why is it that when there is romance in an anime situation, one [character] is always melodramatic while the other one is baffled? Typically the girl (what a shame) is the most emotional and would cry or get upset over the smallest things that the baffled one, usually the guy, would do. And how come in anime that it’s obvious that the two are attracted to one another, yet they still continue to be just friends? Do script writers really believe we are that dense?

Answer:
I think you’re applying a typically American perspective to Japanese culture, which may explain why this characteristic of anime seems unnatural to you. It’s probably impossible for a viewer to watch a foreign film without subconciously interpreting that film with cultural values that are different from those of the film, but any attempt to sympathetically understand a foreign film requires some acknowledgment of the culture from which the film came. To understand and appreciate a foreign film, you have to consciously recognize and accept that it is foreign. In other words, what seems strange to you in Japanese animation may seem natural and logical to a native Japanese viewer.

Despite cultural differences, people are still people, and instinctive human emotions and reactions are universal. So naturally American and Japanese viewers can both recognize a love story when they see it, and recognize and even sometimes empathize with the reactions and emotions of the characters on screen. But the fact that viewers can understand and relate to events on screen doesn’t mean that those events need to be realistic or believable. Anime writers and artists sometimes emphasize reactions or situations for dramatic or comedic impact. It’s been pointed out that it’s often the female character in anime relationships that seems irrational or hysteric. A contemporary American film, almost inevitably respectful of America’s concern over representations of gender equality, probably wouldn’t typically characterize female characters as hysteric and over-reactive. On the other hand, Japanese culture isn’t as conscious of gender stereotypes. To be more precise, Japanese culture isn’t as concerned with politely balancing the presentation of gender stereotypes as American culture is. While in America it’s considered rude and offensive to appear discriminatory, and considered calous and irresponsible to propagate sexual stereotypes, contemporary Japanese culture doesn’t seem to have a similar concern with “political correctness.” Significant portions of mainstream Japanese culture continue to advance gender stereotypes because there’s not a significant movement in Japan to abolish such stereotypes. I don’t want to imply that there is no call for increased equal rights in Japan, but Japan is still arguably a heavily sexist, patriarchal society, which is sometimes reflected in anime.

Furthermore, while Japanese society and social relationship etiquette is evolving all the time, it’s still common for Japanese teens to be very tentative and uncertain about social and romantic relationships and displays of affection. An American native would instinctively think, “Just go talk to her/him.” But such a thing may be unthinkable in Japanese society. The concepts of meeting through love letters or arranged marriages may seem quaint and old-fashioned to Americans, but presumably these situations still occur very frequently in anime because they are still relevant to Japanese society and anime viewers. So while a native American viewer may see a tentative and hesitant relationship in an anime and consider the couple foolish or indecisive, Japanese viewers may see the same relationship as reasonably believable and reflective of real life teen relationships in Japan.

Certainly the relationships in some anime are exaggerated for effect, but non-Japanese viewers should take a moment to consider anime in relation to its native environment insteadly of soundly criticizing it for not adhering to the cultural expectations of viewers that it was never primarily intended for. By doing that, you may still find the situation unbelievable or absurd, but you may also then understand why it is that way. Remember that typical anime or manga isn’t composed to seem natural and logical and believable for an American viewer; it was created to seem believable and logical to a Japanese audience.