Ask John: Why Don’t Anime Characters Hug?

Question:
Is hugging some sort of taboo in Japan? I ask because anyone who’s seen a fair bit of anime will have come across dozens of scenes in which a character is crying (usually a girl), and the guy stands around awkwardly doing nothing when it would be entirely appropriate to console her with a hug. Is there really a cultural difference here, or are animators just socially inept?

Answer:
The perspective on compassionate hugging or offering physical intimacy is a bit different in Japan than it is in the west, and it’s different still in anime compared to real-life Japanese society. The long known Japanese stereotype that physical intimacy in public is rude plays some part, but there’s more to this unique point that merely one traditional convention. The depiction of hugging or not hugging in anime is affected by a variety of influences, and it carries a great deal of symbolic weight.

In western culture, casual physical intimacy isn’t given too much thought. Polite hugging is a commonly used greeting, and consoling a grieving person with a hug is deemed natural, instinctive, and practically obligatory behavior. Physical contact in Japanese culture, however, isn’t perceived quite the same way. Although Japan is a country that places great emphasis on collective good and responsibility to the community, Japanese individuality is also considered very important. People are addressed by family name to emphasize the family rather than the individual. But this social convention also has the effect of delineating intimate relationships. For example, in the current Kimi ni Todoke anime, Sawako is uncomfortable calling anyone outside of her closest friends by their given names. Furthermore, individual privacy is expected both from the individual and the group. Japanese people are known to love cameras, but revealing people’s faces in photographs in public is frequently taboo. Japanese society will tolerate a wide range of personal habits, idiosyncrasies, behaviors, and hobbies so long as they remain behind closed doors. As anime director Mamoru Hosoda has noted, virtually everyone online in Japan uses an anonymous nickname. The public and the private in Japan are expected to be strictly separated.

Evolved from that social tradition is the tacit awareness that the body is distinct and private. It’s okay to look, but not touch. In the Japanese mindset, touching another person – literal skin to skin contact – breaks respected personal boundaries. Physically touching another person compromises both the other person’s field of individuality and the instigator’s own sanctity of person. The Evangelion anime revolves around this concept. The edge of one’s skin is the boundary that defines individuality. Touching someone else creates a unity, a bond between two people, thus breaking the strict delineation of individuality. For Asian people, touching someone else is perfectly normal and fine in certain circumstances, for example, the formal handshake, during a fight, in a communal bath when personal inhibitions are supposed to be dropped. But casual physical contact, especially between strangers or not-close acquaintances is not something to be taken lightly in Japanese culture. We can see this illustrated in the Evangelion characters Asuka and Shinji. The half-German Asuka intimidates with physical contact, and doesn’t understand why Shinji is so hesitant to engage in physical touching. Shinji, who is purely Japanese, is very considered about who he physically touches and when he does so. In End of Evangelion, Shinji won’t touch Asuka when he’s aroused, but he will strangle her, implying the degree of emotional urgency necessary to convince Shinji to overcome his cultural indoctrination. Even in the Evangelion 2.0 movie Shinji won’t touch Asuka because he doesn’t know her well, but he will share skin-to-skin contact with Rei, whom he does feel an intimate connection with.

The modern Japanese concept of “skinship” literally refers to the warmth of physical contact shared between a mother and newborn baby. In casual use, especially in anime, it’s developed a broader relevance to any physical contact between two people. Close friends become closer friends because they can share “skinship.” So that sort of physical contact is reserved for only close friends. In this year’s Summer Wars movie, when Natsuki is in tears and Kenji is sitting right beside her, he doesn’t put his arm around her. He only holds her hand because despite their public relationship, the two aren’t intimately familiar with each other, so the intimacy of a hug, or an arm around her shoulder, is inappropriate. In this year’s seventh and final Kara no Kyoukai movie, Kokuto holds Shiki during a moment of tender honesty. The two have known each other for years, and viewers have seen them together in six prior movies, yet they’ve never physically touched each other in any meaningful way until the climax of the final film. That touch, the closing moments of the movie reveals, signifies a new stage of their relationship. In the opening animation of this year’s Aoi Hana television anime the two girls Fumi and Akira are naked together, yet only their pinkie fingers touch. This may be a reference to their symbolic connection via the invisible string tied to their little fingers. It’s also a visual cue signifying that they are psychologically and emotionally intimate with each other enough to share meaningful physical contact – the bond between them is strong enough that it can be expressed just by the smallest touch of their little fingers.

Public intimacy in Japan is now more common and more accepted than it used to be. So a hug may not mean a whole lot in real life modern Japanese society. But in anime, a hug still has a great deal of meaning and significance. Someone that doesn’t hug a tearful person may be uncomfortable with social interaction, but more so, the distance signifies that the observer doesn’t feel qualified to offer physical intimacy. Particularly in anime, a comforting hug symbolizes empathy and understanding. The intimacy of embracing another person isn’t something that should be undertaken lightly. When an anime character simply stands by and watches someone cry instead of offering a shoulder or a hug, the observing character is actually respecting the grieving person’s personal space. It’s not so much a case of, “I won’t hug you because I’m uncomfortable putting my arms around you,” it’s “I won’t hug you because I don’t have the right to hug you. I don’t know you well enough to intrude into your personal physical and emotional space.” In America, a comforting hug is an instinctive expression of human compassion. Within anime, particularly, a comforting hug carries the meaning, “I understand your suffering.” So the only people that should offer a compassionate hug are those who actually do comprehend and understand the depth and significance of the grieving person’s sadness. Within anime, a compassionate hug is an expression of heartfelt honesty and sincerity. The person that can only offer a hug as a polite condescension would be more respectful to not offer a hug at all.