On Novel Writing IX

I’ve now had four different people (one of them being my mother) read my fiction novel manuscript. The reaction has been evenly divided between enthuasiastic praise and measured negativity. Given the split, I know that I’ll need to make further revision to the manuscript, but I also have some trouble distinguishing exactly what’s weakness in my book and what represents simple and natural subjective reader response.

Here’s some example of the critique I’ve received so far, both negative & positive:

Negative:
“I don’t know who this girl is, but I feel as if she should have a better reveal than what she is recieving here.”

“It’s very easy to understand. All your points get across well. But, it also feels abrupt.”

“Midori is coming off as too small a character…. she should be more dimensional than just a support system for Anna.”

“I’m not feeling much of the outside world in this… Anna just strolls around and hits each point you need to make by herself. She doesn’t really feel anchored to this world in enough ways.”

“It’s just to big of a leap for me.”

“After reading through a little less than half this book I feel there needs to be more strong characters. So far only Anna has any real presence, or anything to do really.”

“Now half way through… I don’t know where you’re going with the story. I don’t mean that in a good way either… There just needs to be more at stake than what’s been shown so far. There may well be to come… but it definitely should be spelled out early on… not after the half way point.”

“I can tell you’ve ploted this out at length, but I’m not sure you know your characters as people…. that they have their voices. That their lives are real, not just actors hitting their marks…. hitting plot points… filling their slim roles.”

“Despite having the most attention placed upon her I still don’t feel connected to Anastasia. I don’t really care what’s going to happen to her. I guess she just needs to show some personality… make her likable.”

“I like the character of Anastasia, but I didn’t find her naturally believable because she seems so full of insane rage she makes snap decisions, but the writing style exposes a lot of careful internal thoughts.”

Positive:
“Overall, I thought it was a descriptive and action-fulled light novel that succeeded in making an anime-like novel. As I read the book, I envisioned a combination of the disutopias of Bubblegum Crisis, Gunnm, and Madhouse’s Highlander film.”

“Anastasia’s home life is a lovely few pages, giving us a sense of place both for both her personality and her parents… It gives us a reason to care about them when Anastasia herself cares about them, without going full-blown schmaltz.”

“…you’ve found an actual reason to set the story in a distorted, alternate version of the country who’s pop-culture inspired you. I really dig that.”

“…there’s enough going on that it feels larger than life and like a complex, satisfying battle, but you didn’t go so hard over the top that anyone was doing anything that might have looked cool but not made a lick of sense.”

“I loved the scene where Stork and his main thug meet. Stork’s little speech about his name…. and the ‘I deliver’ line was powerful and a perfect moment.”

“F*ck yes. There’s no part of this I don’t love.”

“Midori’s a sweetheart, and the scenes between the two of them give Anna a sad, human quality that’s a nice touch, and a stark contrast to when she’s arm-deep in combat. Their friendship feels genuine.”

“It’s a truly badass, gruesomely cathartic, overwhelmingly grim sequence – but it’s peppered with the hesitation of a girl who knows she’s in too deep to back out, but is neither comfortable nor enjoying the karmic retribution she’s come to dish out. Loved every word of it.”